tambo

Hey! Just got home from ER a bit ago. Was there for almost 6 hours but left a happier girl. They had to rule out cardiac problems because when I got there I was having a lot of pain in my chest and left arm!! I think the pain just got the best of me. Blood pressure was up, oxygen was down so I got the nice little nose hose! Anyway, eventually I had a abdominal and pelvic CT and it was clear! Hooray! So this pain has to be muscular!! I got some real pain pills now and will just be content knowing that even though I am in pain, I am healthy!!! Just have to get over this hump and soon I’ll be exercising again!! Ohh the drama………………..
Good night!!

you guys!!! My tummy really hurts!!!!! It hurts to raise my voice even. I took a shower and got dressed, then the boys took a bath and by the time I was done just assisting them getting dressed I was about doubled over!!! Has anyone out there had these kind of problems after ABD surgrey???? I already called a nurse at the hospital. She was going to go talk to someone and call me back. VERY TIRED OF THIS. Not angry, just tired!!!! If I don’t try to move or talk I’m fine. Wondering if my body just hates the mesh that they put in…….
Or could I have done this to myself?????????

Hey you guys! Thanks for the support. It was needed and very appreciated. My husband is in shock since I started listening to him. He has been telling me to quit doing stuff since the beginning of this mess. Really, over doing is being irresponsible. It’s taken me this long to see that I’m not only “not letting myself heal but prolonging this experience on my family”. UGH…… so here I sit. Spent so many years in depression and being so inactive that it just feels wrong to stop living this life that I enjoy now!! There was a time when all I did was lay on the couch. Didn’t have energy for anything else! So, I bet this is my problem. I don’t ever want to be back there!!!!! Fighting my past so to speak!! Let’s see what my inspirational books have to say today……..

Now, if ya think of it that way…………………………………… I feel better how about you???????

Hey guys!! (does this show cultural diversity?) I’m taking intercultural communications online. I’m such a Minnesotan!! Hey you guys!!!!
Felling craPPY. Still having to do as little as possible since my last surgery on 1/15. Might have pulled a muscle near the surgical site. Have been in a lot of pain so saw a Dr. last Friday. The surgeon had me take 150mg of Lyrica for 7 days andd REST. The drug has made me semi retarded! So, sleepy and slow! I know that in our hard times that the Lord is most near but still we are human and today I broke!!!!!!
Struggling to not do house work. My hubby gets so upset with me because I rest and feel better and then do too much and end up back where I started!! I don’t blame him for being aggravated. This crap has been goin on since before October!! Then I had been sick off and on for years before that! There were about 2 weeks that I felt good after my surgery in October. Then I over did it and had the hernia repair!! Recover from that is going on 4 weeks tomorrow. Am I being impatient?? Probably! A person gets to feeling like such a piece of poo!! My lil boys are now doing their best impressions of fire trucks. how nice….. Our oldest son said to me a few weeks ago that “he is the most unlucky boy to have a mommy who is always sick” UGH how sad… I explained to him that we are lucky that mommy can get better!! Some people have horrible diseases that never get better!!! He was having a pity party. The last 2 evenings he is my very helpful loving servant boy!! He’s trying so hard to help!! Seriously, its like having a personal servant. Mommy, want coffee?? Sandwich?? etc.
He can be such a good boy!! Well, I think I need to snooze a bit. ttyl!!

written by Mrs. Charles E Cowman

God knows when to with hold from us any visible sign of encouragment, and when to grant us such a sign. How good is it that we may trust Him anyway! When all visible evidences that He is remembering us are withheld, that is best; He wants us to realize that His Word, His promise of rememberance, is more substantial and dependable than any evidence of our senses. When he sends the visible evidence, that is well also; we appreciate it all the more after we have trusted Him without it. Those who are readiest to trust God without other evidence than his Word always receive the greatest number of visible evidences of his love. C.G. Trumbull

Believing Him; if storm clouds gather darkly round,
And even if the heavens seem brass, without a sound?
He hears each prayer and even notes the sparrow’s fall.
And praising Him; when sorrow, grief, and pain are near,
And even when we lose the thing that seems most dear?
Our loss is gain. Praise Him; in Him we have our All.

Our hand in His; e’en though the path seems long and drear
We scarcely see a step ahead, and almost fear?
He guides aright. He has it thus to keep us near.

And satisfied; when every path is blocked and bare,
And worldly things are gone and which were so fair?
Believe and rest and trust in Him, He comes to stay.

Delays are not refusals; many a prayer is registered, and underneath it the Words “My time is not yet come” God has set a time as well as set purpose, and He who orders the bounds of our habitation orders also the time of our deliverance.

It’s me again now. Isn’t that encouraging?? He never forgets us and will never, never break his promises to us. He will answer us!
Have a blessed day my friends!!!

More Streams in the Desert. This is for tomorrow but it is very fitting for me today. I got home from the hospital yesterday after having surgery on Thursday. Wasn’t expecting them to keep me but they did. Probably a good thing because my babies would have been all over me. I had a ventrical incisional hernia repair. It was done Laproscopically so I only have 4 more stab wounds! This is good compared to being cut wide open! The hardest part is going to be behaving myself!! Nor supposed to bend and lift anything! No laundry no unloading the dishwasher etc. I know so some this sounds like a dream (even to me once or twice) but when it’s real it’s difficult. Here is an example of letting go. I tend to be an anus when it comes to our home. Not only that but I’m going to have to ask for help! My kids are at grandma’s and then going to my sister in laws for a couple days. This was sad to see them go packing too, yet I know how lucky I am to have people to help. Another blessing. It took my husband and I years to meet anyone in this town. We used to wonder what was wrong with us!!! (now I know) you have to get out and participate in life to meet people. My point is that the evening of my surgery I had 2 of my new friends stop by plus my hubby, mom and best friend since middle school. Then today as I was sleeping until 11:30 another one of my new dear friends stopped to drop off flowers!! I said to my husband “I’m so lucky to have these wonderful friends!” He agreed. He has been wonderful as well. He is out in the garage building an island for our kitchen (at my request). He is so talented!!! Anyway, before he went out he atarted a load of laundrey, loaded the dish washer and brought me all the phones and remotes and asked if I need anything. What a sweetie!! Well mu tummy is starting to hurt from sitting up so I better get on with this poem that I wanted to share…………….

Defeat may serve as well as victory
To shake the soul and let the glory out.
When the great oak is straining in the wind,
The boughs drink in new beauty, and the trunk
sends down a deeper root on the windward side.
Only the soul that knows the mighty grief
can know the mighty rapture. Sorrows come
to stretch out spaces in the heart for joy.
Not that being a bit helpless is deep sorrow or anything but now I have more time to reflect on what matters and keep in touch with all of you! Time to study for school and time to study Gods Word!! Ouch, I’m really getting sore!! Better go ………………..
Love ya all!!

Good day buddys! IF you haven’t already make sure you read Kama’s blog today. She has an amazing one today! I had already planned to share some wisdom from this book Streams in the Dessert with you. The author is Mrs. Charles E. Cowman.

These are daily reminders of Gods presence in our lives.

Jan 7
I have learned, in whatsoever state I am in, therewith to be content (Phil. 4:11)

Now don’t run around naked and wonder why you aren’t content!! I hope this might bring peace to someone today!

We really are what we are supposed to be. All have our own purpose!!

Good morning and Happy Monday!!

The weekend went well for me. I wasn’t perfect but I did ok and am down 5 pounds from the start. Saturday I rode our stationary bike for 40 minutes and burned over 800 calories. I tried riding yesterday and only could do 14 minutes. Should I be just doing 15 a day to start? Ugh. Our bike has the rotating arms also and as of yesterday I’m having spasms by my left shoulder blade. It hurts a lot to just take a deep breath. I had my hubby look at it this morning cuz it still hurt so bad and he thinks maybe I have a rib out of place. How can my body be this stinking fragile? If it were summer I would just walk but it’s like 40 below here in sunny Minnesota! (with the wind chill) the thermometer on our computer says only -18 degrees. Maybe I should register for a fitness class at the college. I saw a walking fitness for life class, it might not be too late to enroll. I believe I will need a phys ed or health class to get my AA anyway. One way or another there’s hope. I still work at Curves too. Just not sure I should be doing that until I recover from the next surgery. I so look forward to be able to do what ever I want to work out. Wish I would’ve taken advantage of my more youthful body!!!!
I better look into that class. Plus, see if I should get my back looked at since it’s so painful.
Have a super day and burn some calories for me!!!!

You guys I did something quit painful last night. I looked in the mirror, really looked and saw all of the excess my poor body has been carting around. When I started feeling healthier mentally (after post partem depression, chronic depression and Thyroid problems) I had no idea how good I could feel until I started to feel better. I bet the same goes physically when a person loses the weight. If this fat were cancer I would do whatever I had to do to try to get better. This fat is causing problems in my life and all I have to do is stop eating wrong! I know it’s not that easy but my point is that it is this important. it is this important.

So, I’m going to try to remember the feeling I had when I took a real look. It wasn’t a feeling of pity or fear but of the realization that I am the only one who can change this.

Hope you all have a successful day!!

I was down a pound today but not because I behaved last night!! Procrastination (I’ll start on the first of the year) I gave in to once again. It’s over and done. Everything that I shoved into my mouth though, I really thought about so that’s a step right there to be getting on the right track. How easily we can slide. We have to be honest with ourselves don’t we. This is the only way to really understand what got me to this 200 plus state! One major change that has happened to me since I’ve gotten to know our Lord is that I’m not a victim of this weight. Choice after choice has been made that got me here. I’m not angry but a bit sad that my health has meant so little to me. I still remember when it was all about how I looked!! It wasn’t that long ago either! We can see how much gets done through vanity now can’t we!! This time it’s about my family, about being a mommy, and a wife. People actually depend on me now! Just some thoughts for the day! My resolution for this year is to live a healthy life. Spiritually and physically to live a good life!! I thank God for all of the blessings around me. I hope this year brings all of you the same gifts of love and friendship that have already been granted to me!

God Bless!