Cheater, Cheater Brownie Eater!!!!

Posted June 23, 2008 * Comments(11)
File under: Weight Loss

Do any of you remember that saying or was it just one of those really goofy things my siblings and I came up with on our own?

Cheater, Cheater Pumpkin Eater?? OHhhhh yea that probably from Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater !!

Anyway……………….. now that I have that figured out I can move on.

I made Brownies last night the kind with caramel in them! I’m not even going to try to think of how many I ate. Besides that, on Wednesday I made home made chocolate chip cookies!! Can you believe I managed to maintain?

I want to be able to make this stuff for my kids but I can’t seem to keep my chubby fingers away from them!! My kids like healthy snacks too. It would just be nice for them to have a few memories of their mommy baking them goodies and then NOT eating all of them!!! he he I don’t really eat all of them. (just a lot of them).

Been walking and staying active! Feeling good!! Some pain in my right Glute and down my leg but it’s bearable. I’m very thankful for my health! Don’t ever let stress get to you so badly guys. Eat a pan of Brownies instead!! JUST KIDDIN!!!!!!!!!

My plan for the day is to be a dork and take this cart my Granny gave to me to our Family Dollar Store. It’s only a couple of blocks from our house. On the way there I can fit 2 kids in it and Charlie can help push. On the way home it will be full of stuff like kitty litter and TP!!

This cart isn’t like a grocery cart. (I”m trying to make myself feel better) It’s ridiculous to load up my van, buckle the kids in to drive 2 blocks!! I have to get over the feeling like a dork thing!! Everyone in town will soon be searching for a cart like mine!!!

We’ll see if I can start the trend. I should get moving! Maybe people will throw money to me while I”m pushing my cart to the store!!

Have a Fab day!!

oops!

Posted June 11, 2008 * Comments(4)
File under: Weight Loss

Hi friends!
I have so much I want to share right now! As I mentioned before I recently found out that I am not dieing of some horrible disease or disorder! The stress monster almost ate me alive!!

No kidding. Real, intense, pain and suffering consumed me due to my own selfish pride. As I’m growing as a Christian the light just came on thanks to a bible study I’ve attended twice. Tonight I realized what “pride” meant. The Lord has his way of revealing things to us as we’re ready that’s for sure!! We are all sinners, I knew that. However, I had no idea how lost I was until a few hours ago. Reading how we life is supposed to be a struggle, full of pain, NOT A GOOD PLACE anymore since our friends Adam and Eve chose to try things on their own. Wow, I’ve been beating myself up for not being grateful every minute of everyday for all of the blessings that God has given me. My own pride has made me so sick and full of pain because I was trying to do things my way!! Today, Thy Will Be Done!! Our Father knows we’re weak and full of sin. I didn’t have to struggle! He loves us unconditionally and has a place for us. All we have to do is believe and trust that Jesus Christ died for our sins. Nothing can take this away from us!! So much is clear to me now. I had to be ready to see what I’ve become and to know it’s alright. Just as I know I have a place in heaven with God. I know that I have just set foot out of this life I was struggling to make. God did not give me the experience of losing Lindsey so I would hate myself for not feeling grateful every day for my sons. Learning that our lives are supposed to be filled with turmoil, supposed to be hard has made me a happy lady!! This life to me is good! This life to me now knowing all I have to do is let go and just Be is beautiful. God knows what we need. If we let him guide us we have all the peace we need. Another spiritual awakening indeed! Weight loss, is this a pride issue for me? I don’t know yet. I know I want to do this for my health. I would think just as alcohol or drugs poison our body so does too much food. Do I want to lose weight for the right reason? Is it for my health or is it so I can feel more attractive? It’s interesting how in 2 weeks I seem to have started shrinking! Two weeks ago I went to my first study! Gods Word has made me more content. Maybe I’m not trying to fill a gap with food. The Lord is working in my life this I know!! Just had to share this with you my friends!! I’ve been studying The Bible for several months but in this new study group I’m attending we’re going over The Stranger On The Road To Emmaus by John R Cross. The point of this book is to study the main theme of the Bible. The teachings are directly from the Bible.
Anyway this has been such a gift to me that I wanted to let anyone who might be interested in learning Gods Word know of this source. Nothing has ever been more powerful to me.

Good night and God bless…………

The final answer

Posted June 6, 2008 * Comments(8)
File under: Weight Loss

Guess what buddy’s! I’m not unhealthy!! There is no evidence of a major neurological disorder. The Doc said that she believes my pain may be from tension from stress. Can you freaking believe it?????????????????????

Ugh, I don’t know if I should laugh or cry!! So, I did both yesterday! I’m going to try my darndest to slow down a bit. I freak if my house is messy etc. Just though I would update!!

Gotta go!

shorty!

Posted June 4, 2008 * Comments(4)
File under: Weight Loss

Since I mean to write just a short blog I’ll probably be here blogging for a half hour!!
I do need to get ready to go. I”m dropping my little boys off at Grandma’s house today so I can go to my Neurologist appointment tomorrow in Mpls. I’m having EMG’s done on both arms and finding out results after that. I also have a Chiropractor appt today. I would like to consult with him about having my SI nerves burnt. I so look forward to being comfortable again!!!
My friend and I walked last night a bit over a mile and I have blisters the size of my little toe on my little toe’s! Walking felt good! I could feel the burn on my tubby lil knees!! I can totally see how walking would shape me up!! After Curves work outs I get soooo sore!! Ugh, I really have to go!! Kids are crying, need a shower etc.
Have a great day!!

CLICK

Posted June 1, 2008 * Comments(8)
File under: Weight Loss

Hey Buds!

I’m feeling pretty optomistic today about my weight loss. I lost 6 pounds this week! I’m not sure what all is factoring in here (maybe because I’ve stopped doing steroid shots) I don’t really mind as long as it’s working!! I do watch my carbs but other than that I’m eating sensibly many times a day. It seems to be working!! I also keep myself moving with house work or playing with the kids.
Unfortunately every time I work out at Curves lately I end up hurting pretty bad. Maybe I need to tune down my work out. I’m going to go ride stationary bike when I’m done lolly gagging on here. Just this much loss though has given me a better attitude. There are so many horrible things out there to put in our body (that taste really, really good) These things just aren’t for me anymore!! I’ve ate healthy for long enough to feel the side effects of this chemical carb crap!! Ugh!
After a binge on that stuff I feel weighed down, depressed, tired. Eating fresh veggies and fruit I can almost feel the hydration of these foods in my body right away. I’m becoming a natural freak!! I used to eat canned fruit in syrup and think it was ok for me. After having fresh produce I almost gag on the mushy tasteless crap!! I’m surely not saying I don’t eat bad things. I still love Chocolate especially when I”m PMSing! Yesterday I was going to allow my self a free day. Have what I wanted in moderation. We were at a grad party. I had one bite of cake and it just wasn’t worth it! I still found myself going for more protein because I know I feel better when I put these things into my body. Later we stopped at my Granny’s house where she offered Oreo’s and Donut’s etc. I did eat some Oreos (no milk) these used to be major down fall for me. They just didn’t taste great anymore!! I think I would have enjoyed some fresh pineapple more! I think I ended up eating 4 (as I’m eating wondering why I didn’t just quit). The moral of the story is that my taste for food is changing for the better!! Why should a treat to myself make me feel like poo? The past 2 weeks when I think I need a treat, I take a hot bath (which shortly is invaded by little boys jumping in). Something clicked for me recently. Here’s to all of us finding our CLICK and sticking with it. I think our little family is off for some fishing today. Fun in the sun!!
I’ll let cha know how it goes!!

Wednesday

Posted May 29, 2008 * Comments(6)
File under: Weight Loss

Hi all. I had a really nice day today! I woke up feeling good! In fact, I’m not going to talk about any health issues today except weight loss. I think I’m finally doing things right. I’m only eating when I’m hungry and my portions are no larger than my hand. Sometimes I have to remind myself to eat. The scale is being a bit more likable these days. It’s going the right direction anyway! My Charlie has his last day of Kindergarten tomorrow. :shock: It’s so hard to believe that my baby boy is getting this big! I’m looking forward to many snuggly mornings with him. Just thought I would check in!!

Take care!!

Friday whoo hooo!!!!!!!!!

Posted May 9, 2008 * Comments(5)
File under: Weight Loss

Guess what I’m doing today??? I’m very excited. It’s called Mom’s Night Away. Four other members of moms club and I are going to St. Cloud for the night. We’re staying in a B&B called The Heritage House. I looked it up online and it is beautiful! There’s a lot of shopping options in this town. We will be leaving today at 3:00 doing some shopping and then checking in to our abode. We’ll have some wine and then go out for dinner and some cocktails.
You know just a year ago I was so very lonely in this town! I didn’t know anyone. I’ve met all of my new friends through Curves. One more reason to love Curves!!

I went to the clinic on Wednesday because the back of my head felt like I got hit by a bat & the right upper side of my face was throbbing. My arms were hurting really bad too. Long story short.
I have been referred to a neurologist in Minneapolis now. Here in my small town they’ve done everything they can. The next step sounds like an EMG and a Spinal Tap. Anyway, I will see this new Doc on Wednesday next week. It’s about 3 1/2 hour drive but I really hope to maybe get some answers. This pain started out in my lower body and now has made it’s way to my head! Thank God that it’s not an everyday experience. I do get some days without pain.
The local Doc also informed me that MS cannot be ruled out because of my negative MRI. It can take awhile to show up in the brain.

I will continue to try my hardest to keep a positive attitude. Energy is not in abundance here but I will walk a bit everyday.

Today though I”m going to have FUN!! You all have a wonderful weekend!! It is finally spring in Minnesota!!!

Better days are coming!

Posted April 30, 2008 * Comments(8)
File under: Weight Loss

That’s what my Granny always said anyway! I feel quite a bit lighter after my nice little cry. It was like ringing out a sponge!! As soon as the weather here in MN acts like spring I’m going to plant a rose bush in honor of Lindsey. If you read my blog from yesterday, I realized today that I had the year wrong. All of that happened in 2001.

Either way, the sun is shining today!

4/28/2000

Posted April 29, 2008 * Comments(12)
File under: Weight Loss

If you’re in the mood for an upbeat blog this wouldn’t be it.

Today is a very special, painful blessed day. Lindsey Lou Brown was born @ 5:11 weighing in at 7lbs 11 oz. This beautiful little girl is my daughter. It’s so very seldom that I get to speak those words “my daughter”. I know that she still exists. I knew at her wake that she was gone. I also knew that this little dolly in the cherub (the body gave to Lindsey) was used for such a very short time. God did however wrap her in beauty for this trip. Standing there, looking at her pasted with makeup, wearing the pink sweater, bonnet and booties that my mom gave me, I knew with all of my heart that what I was looking at was nothing. Baby Lindsey was already long gone into God’s arms. I grieved perfectly from what my doctor had said. I even tried to comfort people who were trying to comfort me. I didn’t want them to be sad. I knew Lindsey was a gift. I knew I was Thankful for this gift so I shouldn’t complain. I know that I will hold her one day again. Just be thankful and continue to be grateful!

I’m starting to think I’ve been harboring way more grief than I knew of until today. I am so completely sad. This isn’t a selfish poor me sad. I was thinking of her birth and how I felt God so near. The first night 7 years ago today, I stared at her all night.

I took my time to cry today. Luckily my husband came home from work early so I got a bit of a break. I really needed to go through what ever it was happened today.

Memories are a miracle! I didn’t mean to bring anyone down. This is part of my growing to live a healthy life. This is my way of remembering Lindsey today. Thanks for being here.

I was blessed with 6 days with her not knowing she was sick. On May 4 2000 she stopped breathing & was taken to the ER where staff did everything they could do for her. My whole family was there. We all held her and said goodbye. She is my miracle that God sent right through me. I needed to some how celebrate her life today. Now who ever reads this has celebrated with me.

Happy Birthday Lindsey Lou! My heart is filled from your very brief stay.

Big ideas

Posted April 24, 2008 * Comments(6)
File under: Weight Loss

Well I had 3 things for me to accomplish yesterday (besides the usual). I did not do pilates (I can’t find my tape), I didn’t go for a walk (I couldn’t find my feet), and I didn’t go to Curves (I couldn’t find my car). Kidding, I really can’t find my pilates tape though.

I’ll have to do something really good today but it’s going to rain. How about riding bike and stretching? I’ll go for that. I was upstairs taking a shower yesterday and when I came down I found in my kitchen (that I had just cleaned) half a dozen eggs cracked and spread all over the floor. The little vacuum was placed in the middle of it all. Then I saw that there was a shell and sticky lil foot trail going all the upstairs. :mad: :cry: I almost started crying and sent the turds to bed. This took awhile to clean up and about did my back in. So, I did get some exercise and squats etc.
I also recieved a counterfeit check via Fed EX!! Some dork is trying to order Avon but send me 2,000 dollars. I’m supposed to pay for the products, keep $60.00 for my trouble and forward the remainder to their landlord!!! Can you believe it??? So, I had a chat with an officer yesterday and filed a report with the big dogs. I better go now. Time to go to Mom’s Club!!

big fat hug to ya all!

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